New Year

Well, the New Year is upon us and many of us have set forth various resolutions for 2012. Most of us decided on the usual ones…you know, lose weight, getting fit, kicking a particular habit, being budget conscious, etc. Although I did choose a few of the usual ones for myself, I also decided to make this year a time to try something new, something I’ve never done before, go somewhere I’ve never been to, etc. This also includes making an attitude change…a positive one. 

I think some of us tend to get comfortable with certain behavior choices, and personally, I grew tired of the ones I’ve been sporting lately. For example, I tend to be an extreme worrywart and I would like to let that go…it truly adds unnecessary stress and quite frankly, I’d like to hold on to the hair I currently have and not lose it due to self inflicted stress. I need to “let go” and realize that extreme worrying won’t do absolutely any good. I know it’s easier said than done, but I have to start somewhere. I tend to focus on such tedious and unimportant incidents that just lead to…you guessed it, worrying or stressing me out. Just last weekend, after returning from a birthday party, my partner Ricky suggested we go by the lake and take pictures with my new camera. It was around 11:30pm and the usual me would have said “no, it’s too late” or “are we allowed to be there at this time of the night?”- etc, etc; but instead, I took him up on it. I was wearing these awesome black patent leather shoes my mother gave me as a birthday gift, and as we made it to the lakeside, it was dark and I stumbled on the concrete steps slightly scratching the tip of one of my shoes. A normal person, would have carried on as though nothing happened; but not me…there I was checking to see how badly I had scratched my shoe, checking how badly it looked…did I ruin it? That’s when I realized…Really?! Am I going to worry about this silly thing while having such a good time with Ricky?! Enough. You can't even see the scratch!!!

These are just tiny examples of the ridiculous things I tend to worry about, and trust me, there are a gazillion more where those came from. So, as they say, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem…well, I fully admit it. I have an extreme and pointless worrying problem and I want out!  In addition to making this conscious change, I would also like to implement a new motto: Appreciate the moment. I will notice the good things that are happening to me right now, whether it’s a beautiful day, a stranger’s smile, an efficient grocery store line, or getting on the gym machines without having to wait. I don’t know how many years or days I’ll live, so I want to live this moment fully.  I will ask myself often, “If this turns out to be the last day of my life, have I enjoyed it to the fullest extent possible?” It’s easy to lapse into worrying about the future, or dreaming of better things to come, or dwelling on regrets over the past while we miss what’s currently going on. I will take hold of every opportunity to laugh and have fun and learn from everything and everyone.