Friday, September 7, 2012
At times, out of fear, we often hesitate to follow our intuition. Usually, we are afraid of the changes our actions will bring in our life…but intuitive guidance is ALL about change. It is basically active data with a great deal of potential to influence. Fearing change but craving intuitive clarity, is like fearing the cold and darkness, while pouring water on the fire that lights and warms our shelter. A sort of counterproductive approach to daily life I suppose. We fear our intuitions because we fear the transformational power within our revelations. We are afraid of our own potential and success simply because we don’t know how it will unfold and what it has in store for us. It causes change and change, no matter how big or small, is always very uncertain. Fear of the unknown has always controlled us.
Recently, I have been realizing the potential within me and the only obstacle in my way is and has always been myself. I have come across many amazing individuals who all have to say wonderful things about me…but I have never really taken the time to fully see, believe or appreciate why I am given such compliments. Since I can remember, receiving compliments has always been a cause of embarrassment for me. They have always made me feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable. Now, although still a bit tough at times, it has become easier to accept a compliment. Now thinking about it, I have never believed or given myself credit for the good things other people see in me. I thought that by doing so, it would be self-important of me. A feeling within me and a trait in others I have always disliked very much.
Just last week, I met someone who I now can call a friend, who within a very short period of time of meeting each other, told me what his thoughts about me were…and they all consisted of me being kindhearted, generous, full of life, creativity and potential. At first, my old way of thinking took over and I didn’t really accept his kind and thoughtful words; but then I realized that I had the same impression and opinion about him. When I shared my thoughts of him with him, he seemed to gracefully acknowledge such traits and accepted them as being quite accurate. At that moment, that genuinely didn’t make him self-important or cocky. He was simply being true and honest. It was in that instant, that all this self-doubt unfolded right before my eyes and I realized that accepting his impression of me only makes me genuinely grateful and appreciative to know I have such qualities to offer. It’s not about being egotistic at all…but about being true to ourselves. Once we tap into that, we can certainly tap into our full potential and be the complete opposite of egotism and self-importance.
I guess all this time, I have had the feeling, the intuition of being the person I am with the qualities I have…but thought it would be presumptuous of me to fully accept it. Instead, I should be proud and consider myself fortunate to be able to contribute in a positive manner - no matter how small or large my contributions may be. I guess that’s the Catholic martyr in me which was instilled in me while growing up…better said, the FORMER Catholic martyr in me. I am DEFINITELY a recovering Catholic. Thank God for that!