Madonna and Raffaella Carrá

When I was three or four years old, I was in love with Raffaella Carrá, an Italian performer famous throughout Europe and Latin America. She was considered to be very provocative due to her outfits, dancing and for revealing her perfect navel and legs, which made quiet family men break out in a cold sweat and of course fantasize about being with her. I was too little to realize what exactly it was about her that I liked and was so drawn to, but when my family would ask me why I liked Raffaella Carrá, I would simply answer by telling them I liked her because she didn’t wear a bra. I mean, I was a three or four year old boy, how the heck would I know if she wore a bra or not?? But I knew I liked how bold and secure she was.

A few years later, I remember very clearly, being in my parent’s bedroom floor coloring in a coloring book while my parents got ready to go out that evening. While getting ready, they had the TV on and Madonna’s video “Material Girl” came on, and I remember thinking, wow, she’s very pretty and so cool! From that moment on, I was pretty much hooked. My infatuation was so odd and extreme, I even recruited my family members to cut out any picture they saw of Madonna in magazines or any other publication, and give to me to collect. My bedroom wall was covered from top to bottom in Madonna pictures gathered from magazines, newspapers, posters, etc. I no longer collect her pictures as I used to, but I still am very interested in what she’s doing.  Her music, movies, appearances, concerts, etc.

 Just recently I began wondering exactly why I’m…well, obsessed with Madonna. I’ve been into her as a person, her music, her videos, her movies (yes, despite her acting abilities) since I was eight years old. For some reason, there was something I was so drawn to…and being so young, I had no idea what it was. I just felt this instant interest, the same exact interest I had when I first saw Raffaella Carrá on TV. This immediate and ongoing attraction, which I never really gave much thought to and simply accepted it and went along with, finally reached a point where it needed some figuring out. Why the interest? Why the infatuation and why the endearment toward this woman? She’s obviously very influential, but the interest I have I feel goes beyond the usual likes and dislikes we develop towards celebrities. There’s something deeper there. 

A few weeks ago, I came across a YouTube video of Raffaella Carrá, and I was amazed to see the similarities between her and Madonna. I hadn’t seen any videos or photos of Raffaella Carrá since I left Guatemala back in 1990. No wonder my interest was instant and easily transferred from Rafaella to Madonna. Raffaella was stimulating, overly sexual, confident not only with herself and with her body, but among men as well. Just like Madonna has been since the minute I saw her. They are both blond most of the time, both with an edge for fashion, and both have a gap on their front teeth - Raffaella’s is much more subtle, but it’s there! These similarities and traits made me realize that perhaps that the confidence and presence they have is what I wanted or needed from the female guidance and authority figures in my life. My partner Ricky brought this to my attention a few years back, but I didn’t really take the time to think about it in depth. I agreed, but left it at that.

Growing up in a machista culture in Guatmala, where a lot of women are submissive to men and cater to their every need, made it easy for me to immediately admire and look up to that complete opposite and foreign attitude and behavior from these women.  Having moved to the US when I was 14, Rafaella Carrá was no longer available to me, but Madonna certainly was…and during the time where she was at the top and pretty much in everyone’s face. During that drastic change in my life, the only constant and unaffected feeling was how I viewed and felt about Madonna. What she made me feel, what she made me want and what she made me look for in my own life. She introduced me to A LOT of subjects I was completely ignorant about…and most of all, she made me feel completely okay about being who I was. I didn’t fully know, much less accept being gay, but I did know that people like Madonna would be very accepting  of me and would not see any differences besides the obvious. Her vibe of being well-rounded gave me something to hold on to and to appreciate. I felt accepted, welcomed and could relate to her in many levels. What she has been doing, accomplishing, and the strength and ambition required, is what I truly admire and respect. I wish I would have had that level of comfort, confidence and sense of self instilled on me by the strong and beautiful women in my family. Instead, I learned indirectly from them…“behind the scenes” you could say. They definitely shaped and molded me to be the person I am today; and I’m very thankful to have had the exposure I had growing up to individuals like Madonna and Raffaella Carrá. They gave me the other side of what I needed and wanted from the role models in my life. Not to say the women in family don't offer that, they just did so in a different way.

One of the highlights of my life; was being able to go to a Madonna concert with my mother and my partner, and share with them what I have always gained so much joy, energy and motivation from. Also, the fact that two of my women role models where in the same place at the same time and both benefiting from each others’ energy, was simply memorable.  I will never forget that.

New Year

Well, the New Year is upon us and many of us have set forth various resolutions for 2012. Most of us decided on the usual ones…you know, lose weight, getting fit, kicking a particular habit, being budget conscious, etc. Although I did choose a few of the usual ones for myself, I also decided to make this year a time to try something new, something I’ve never done before, go somewhere I’ve never been to, etc. This also includes making an attitude change…a positive one. 

I think some of us tend to get comfortable with certain behavior choices, and personally, I grew tired of the ones I’ve been sporting lately. For example, I tend to be an extreme worrywart and I would like to let that go…it truly adds unnecessary stress and quite frankly, I’d like to hold on to the hair I currently have and not lose it due to self inflicted stress. I need to “let go” and realize that extreme worrying won’t do absolutely any good. I know it’s easier said than done, but I have to start somewhere. I tend to focus on such tedious and unimportant incidents that just lead to…you guessed it, worrying or stressing me out. Just last weekend, after returning from a birthday party, my partner Ricky suggested we go by the lake and take pictures with my new camera. It was around 11:30pm and the usual me would have said “no, it’s too late” or “are we allowed to be there at this time of the night?”- etc, etc; but instead, I took him up on it. I was wearing these awesome black patent leather shoes my mother gave me as a birthday gift, and as we made it to the lakeside, it was dark and I stumbled on the concrete steps slightly scratching the tip of one of my shoes. A normal person, would have carried on as though nothing happened; but not me…there I was checking to see how badly I had scratched my shoe, checking how badly it looked…did I ruin it? That’s when I realized…Really?! Am I going to worry about this silly thing while having such a good time with Ricky?! Enough. You can't even see the scratch!!!

These are just tiny examples of the ridiculous things I tend to worry about, and trust me, there are a gazillion more where those came from. So, as they say, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem…well, I fully admit it. I have an extreme and pointless worrying problem and I want out!  In addition to making this conscious change, I would also like to implement a new motto: Appreciate the moment. I will notice the good things that are happening to me right now, whether it’s a beautiful day, a stranger’s smile, an efficient grocery store line, or getting on the gym machines without having to wait. I don’t know how many years or days I’ll live, so I want to live this moment fully.  I will ask myself often, “If this turns out to be the last day of my life, have I enjoyed it to the fullest extent possible?” It’s easy to lapse into worrying about the future, or dreaming of better things to come, or dwelling on regrets over the past while we miss what’s currently going on. I will take hold of every opportunity to laugh and have fun and learn from everything and everyone. 

La Quema del Diablo

Today is La Quema del Diablo (The Burning of the Devil), always held on December 7^th, which started in Guatemala in Colonial times to prepare for the feast of the Immaculate Conception. People lit lanterns outside of their homes, but those who couldn’t afford lanterns, lit piles of garbage that they gathered from a massive house cleaning. This house cleaning and trash burning began to symbolize a fresh start into the New Year...a sort of cleansing of negative energy. Eventually, tradition evolved and soon it became a yearly event to burn an effigy of the devil at 6 p.m. accompanied by fireworks and firecrackers throughout the country. It is believed that the devil lives in unnecessary and materialistic possessions and represents misfortune and a presence of evil...or negativity. 

I always remember celebrating this night by drinking Ponche (hot punch) and Chocolate Caliente (hot chocolate) - delicious. As a kid, I remember making our pile of trash in front of our house, along with our neighbors. It was so much fun. I can definitely see how scary or odd it would be for someone not knowing the culture and this particular tradition. Every time I explain this tradition, people look at me as though I have three heads.

Now, living in Chicago, my version of a burning pile has become my fireplace. I light it up and throw in a printed picture of the little Devil Piñatas from Guatemala and enjoy a cup of Hot Chocolate. Not the same AT ALL, but I make it work and keep the tradition present.

This night not only represents cleansing your home and yourself, but it also sets forth the Holiday preparations ahead. I like to make this night a bit more special and use it to reflect on the changes I should make...not just for the coming year, but permanently. Traditions like tonight's, really bring to mind my favorite quote: "You better yourself not through the comparison of others, but through the improvement of your previous self."

Music and its Influence

We all know music shapes many of life's experiences...it takes us back, gives us chills and brings out all sorts of emotions within us. Music also inspires and motivates us.

Recently, I've been listening to various types of music and each style bringing out something different in me. It has inspired me to dwell into different types of art that vary from geometrical and abstract, to simple and colorful. I tend to get so many ideas, that it's hard to decide on which to actually put on paper and/or canvas; but it's those images that come to mind more than once, that I decide to go ahead and pursue. As of late, the music I've been listening to a lot, has been by artists such as:

Apparat
Little Dragon                               
Beth Ditto
Booka Shade
ceo
The Chemical Brothers
Matias Aguayo
Dam Mantle
Dan Black
Jónsi
Ellie Goulding
Deadmau5
Madonna
Florence + The Machine
Gustavo Santaolalla
Kelis
M83
Passion Pit
The XX

There are a BUNCH more...but these have definitely been very prominent in my iPod. I listen to these artists and music in general before going to bed, while I take a shower, on my way to work, on my way home from work and when I get home for the day. I don't know how I would be, or better yet, how we all would be, without music. Dick Clark said it best: "Music is the soundtrack of our lives" - very true. There are particular songs that bring back specific memories, remind me of specific people, occasions, etc.

Anything dealing with music is very appealing to me. When I go to concerts, I'm the type of person who likes to get there early and once I'm in my seat, I don't like to move at all...not even to get a drink...I don't want to miss a thing. My favorite part, is when the lights dim and the crowd goes wild with anticipation of the show just about to start. Here's an example of the perfect feeling of anticipation at a concert...of course, none other than Madonna:

My dream is to become a DJ...it would have been completely awesome to be a DJ traveling the world, but I'll settle for the simple experience of being the DJ at one of my parties or a friend's party. I have done so by creating specific playlists, but I'm talking about learning the DJ equipment and the whole nine yards!

Since iTunes came about, I've been addicted to it. I look for music literally everyday. It has come to the point that at times, songs come on my iPod and I don't recognize them. They take me by surprise...I don't remember purchasing these songs; but I see it as a VERY pleasant and unexpected surprise. I love it when that happens! The anticipation of the next song, the next soundtrack, is what keeps me going and keeps inspiring me.

Leyendas de Guatemala (Guatemalan Myths)

Recently, I have been inspired by my home country to create a series of pieces incorporating different cultural celebrations, traditions, textiles, ornaments, etc. For example, I created a series of kites from Guatemala’s unique celebration of the Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos or Día de los Santos). I’m also creating a series inspired by the wooden Guatemalan masks, which I have been enjoying quite a lot - but now, I have this itch to create a series based on the myths or stories (leyendas) I grew up listening to as a kid. These leyendas have been passed down  from generation to generation. Many countries in Latin America have their own variations of the leyendas, which are part of the culture. The particular leyendas I’d like to incorporate in my new series are El Sombrerón, La Siguanaba, El Cadejo and La Llorona.  

I will get started with the leyenda of La Siguanaba. La Siguanaba is a beautiful seductive woman with very long hair who is either naked or dressed in flowing white clothing; she usually appears bathing in a public water tank, river, or other water source. She likes to lure lone men (mostly unfaithful men),  out late on dark moonless nights, without letting them see her face at first. She tempts such men away from their planned routes to get them alone with her. She will not reveal her face until the last moment; when it is revealed, she has the face of a horse. From afar the Siguanaba can also imitate the appearance of a man's girlfriend in order to lead him astray.  

The next leyenda I’d like to explore is El Sombrerón. El Sombrerón is a very tiny man, with a huge hat. He likes to mount horses and braid their tails and manes. He also likes to court young ladies who have long hair and big beautiful eyes. When he likes one in particular, he follows her, braids her hair, serenades her with his guitar and beautiful songs; but he also puts soil in her food so that she is not able to eat or sleep and only think of him. El Sombrerón appears at dusk, dragging along a group of mules, with whom he travels around the city and its neighborhoods. When a woman corresponds to his love, he ties the mules to the house where she lives, unhooks his guitar and starts singing and dancing.

Following El Sombrerón, I’ll venture in with El Cadejo. There is a good Cadejo, which is white, and an evil, black Cadejo. Both are spirits that appear at night to travelers. The white Cadejo to protect them from harm during their journey, the black Cadejo, to harm them. The colors of the Cadejo are sometimes exchanged according to local tradition. In some places the black Cadejo is seen as the good one and the white cadejo the evil one. In Guatemala, I grew up hearing only about the black Cadejo, which is good and simply protects drunks on their journey from people trying to harm them. It usually appears in the form of a large, shaggy dog with burning red eyes and goat hooves.

Lastly, I will explore one of the most popular leyendas throughout Latin America – La Llorona. Although several variations exist, the basic story tells of a beautiful woman killing her children by drowning them, in order to be with the man she loved. When the man rejects her, she kills herself. Challenged at the gates of heaven as to the whereabouts of her children, she is not permitted to enter the afterlife until she has found them. She is forced to wander the Earth for all eternity, searching in vain for her drowned offspring, with her constant weeping giving her the name "La Llorona". In some versions of the tale, La Llorona kidnaps wandering children, or children who disobey their parents. People who claim to see her, say she comes out at night or in the late evenings from rivers or oceans. Some believe that those who hear the wails of La Llorona are marked for death. She is said to cry "¡Ay, mis hijos - Ay, mis hijos!" which translates to "Oh, my children!"